Well, have I had some personal growth over the last two days! Sunday morning I woke up full of the joy of life. You know what I mean, you wake up feeling happy and amazed at how fantastic your life is and excited by what the day will bring. It was one of those magic days where I managed to go for a relaxing run, play with the kids, do some jobs around the house and in the garden and just thoroughly enjoyed the lifestyle my hubbie and I have created.
I was patient and kind to my children, reveled in my husband’s joy of watching his favourite sport on television, and nothing was a problem. No dramas, no tension, no annoyance – none of those so called negative emotions. And, gladly, I took the opportunity to enjoy every moment.
Don’t worry all of you who are about to throw up with the cherry-ripe sweet, perfection of it all, the bubble is about to burst!
Monday morning, I woke up CRANKY! I mean, really feral. Just unhappy with everything and with such a short fuse. Frustrated by the kids not listening, annoyed at trying to get things organised and just not “winning”, if you know what I mean. Everyone seemed to be making demands of me and I couldn’t get anything done. After giving into my anger and frustration for a while, I stopped and thought about the difference from the previous morning.
What was the difference? I had the same amount of sleep (which we all know is a big mood changer if you don’t get enough!), I had eaten well both days, nothing had changed that I was aware of, so what was it? It is all about your state of mind and space you are playing in. I had a good look at the thoughts that were roaming through my mind and my reactions to situations. They were much more negative and “me” focussed. All about me not getting my way. As my mother always says, “we are all two year olds, it is just a thin veneer”. So, I realised, I was just having a tantrum. And I was letting my mind continue to brood on the negativity.
This brought the poignant realisation that it is much easier to be a calm, gorgeous, caring parent when your head space is one of happiness and peace. When you are challenged emotionally, and are able to step back and label those emotions rather than allow yourself to be consumed by them, then you become an amazing parent. I drew on some of the techniques that Sarah Napthali discusses in her book as well as the strategies I have learnt through my qualifications in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and started to manage my emotional state. I labelled the emotions as they arose, I considered my internal thoughts, I enacted a dumping strategy (or five) and took time to do some things that bring my joy.
It took time, patience and an awful lot of non-judgement but I am happy to say that by the end of the day, I was playing in a much better space. Where are you playing today?